Recently while traveling on a bus to Coney Island with my son, I overheard a conversation between two men regarding abortion. One of the men was talking about how his girlfriend was pregnant and that he didn't want the baby, didn't want the woman, didn't want the responsibility and was pushing for an abortion. The gist of his conversation was that all he wanted was "relations" and not a "relationship" from this woman.
He explained that his girlfriend wanted to get pregnant, and she saw to it that it happened (I won't go into details as to how how), so he felt trapped. Though he blamed her, he's just as much to blame - she didn't get pregnant by herself.
Now this baby, created for the purpose of testing a relationship, was now destined for a hellish death. While most pregnancies that end in abortion are unplanned, some, like this one, are. This man can't force this mother to have an abortion, but she did agree to abort and had scheduled an appointment.
Essentially, this woman saw some benefits to being pregnant, and when these benefits didn't materialize, she turned to abortion. (For more information on this subject, see "Contraceptive Risk taking and Abortion: Results and Implications of a San Francisco Bay Area Study" by Kristin Lurker.)
My son in tow, I approached the man and spoke with him for a few minutes regarding his situation, and then exited the bus at our stop. I'm not sure what the final outcome was, but hopefully he took our conversation to heart and allowed his child to live despite the circumstances.
Later that day I heard a song which summed up the attitudes of many men towards sex. The line that stood out was "But they just want relations, they don't want relationships." Unfortunately for this woman, and this unborn child, this is all the man wanted. And if she and the unborn child suffer the tragedy of abortion, this man will simply move on, leaving her scarred, hurt, used, and abandoned.
Here is the music video for the song, and below are the lyrics.
S.E.X. - Lyfe Jennings
(Man)
Hey yo you,
You see most cats would take advantage of you right now
But I ain't gon do that, you heard
Imma give you the game, right
Imma give it to you because
I dont want somebody to give my little girl the game
So she could find her s.e.x.
(Man)
Life's a trip
Heard you just turn 17 and finally got some hips
Hustlers on the block go crazy when you lick your lips But they just want relations, they don't want relationships
(Welcome to the real world)
It ain't the same
Fellas old enough to be your daddy know your name
Everybody's talkin bout how much that girl dun changed
Cant quite put your finger on it but you feel it's strange
Like's it's fire in your vains
(Chorus)
Girl it's just your s.e.x.
Momma's secret
And daddy gon go crazy when he finds out that his baby's found her
S.e.x., take a deep breath And think before you let it go
(Man)
The block is packed
Baby got an attitude and proud to holla back
Momma's giving advice but she ain't tryna hear that
Not because its wrong, just her delivery is wack
(Shay, get your butt in this house, if I see you with another boy, I swear..)
Life is rough
You say that your not ready for sex but you're in love He says if you really loved him, you would give it up
Momma says that's just a line guys use to get your stuff
Which one will you trust?
(Chorus)
Girl it's just your s.e.x.
Momma's secret
And daddy gon go crazy when he finds out that his baby's found her
S.e.x., take a deep breath And think before you let it go
(Woman)
Hey yo Lyfe,
She might take it better coming from a woman (get 'em girl) See, he'll tell you all kind of things to get in your pants, yeah
Baby, it's a fact that once it's gone, you'll never get it back (never get it back) Hold on to your innocence
Use your common sense (your worth waiting for)
Be strong
Honey, don't give in, blessings come with patience
Till we meet again, i'm praying for you
(Chorus)
Girl it's just your s.e.x.
Momma's secret
And daddy gon go crazy when he finds out that his baby's found her
S.e.x., take a deep breath
And think before you let it go
